Allison Mack is sharing more of her story. On a new episode of the “Inside of You” podcast, Mack reunited with his “Smallville” co-star Michael Rosenbaum to explain his involvement in the NXIVM cult and what happened after enable leader Keith Raniere’s arrest and incarceration.
Speaking for the first time in full on the CBC podcast “Allison After NXIVM,” Mack spoke candidly with Rosenbaum. The two met in 2001 when they starred as Chloe Sullivan and Lex Luthor, respectively, on the WB (then The CW) drama. But during the interview, they didn’t say anything about the show. Instead, she detailed her 12 years in the NXIVM cult and when things started going south.
“It wasn’t until my eighth or ninth year that things really started to become dysfunctional and illegal,” she told Rosenbaum. “Looking back on it now, it was a very typical grooming process that took place over a period of time. It was another form of an abusive relationship.”
But in her day, even if people started leaving, there was “always a justification” or an excuse, so she ignored the obvious red flags. “In this insidious little community, everyone keeps connecting with each other and reinforcing the belief systems that everyone has. And it gets really deep.”
Allison Mack, Michael Rosenbaum, Kristen Kreuk
©Warner Bros./Courtesy of Everett Collection
After her arrest in 2018, Mack spent three years under house arrest, traveling back and forth to New York to participate in dozens of interviews with prosecutors and police. “It felt like walking through the gates of hell. It was horrible,” she said of the interview. “It was tough because I was still trying to understand what happened…I just felt like I was going crazy.”
During this time, she relied heavily on her mother, sister, and several close friends. That’s because “90 percent of the people in my life no longer communicate with me,” Mack said.
The actress said that there was a moment when she thought about suicide. The first time was when he went into hiding in Mexico after Raniere’s arrest and stayed alone in a penthouse apartment for two weeks. “I went out on the balcony and thought, ‘Maybe if I jump, it’ll be over.’ But you don’t know what happens after that, so I want to know what’s going to happen next. And tomorrow will be different, and I have to endure this.”
The next he was on house arrest, coming to terms with what he had done, cooperating with police, navigating the paparazzi, and considering whether he would be convicted of a sex crime. “All of these realities were so heavy and dark and painful,” she said. “There was a moment when I felt like I didn’t know if I could take it anymore. And I thought, ‘If I kill myself, I’m going to hurt my mom so much. I can’t do that.'” So I didn’t. ”
Mack said he was not allowed to speak to NXIVM officials, but everyone on trial received a letter from Raniere before the trial began. “I haven’t read it,” she said, adding that she didn’t know what it said. “I’m not yet at the point where I forgive him because I don’t fully understand what he did. I’m still working on it.”
She added: “Being both a victim and a perpetrator is a really complicated thing. I think I’m still getting over that, and I think my feelings for Keith are also intertwined with all of that. He’s an evil man, and I’m glad he’s not around.”
Allison Mack will appear in U.S. Eastern District Court in 2018.
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She also discussed how unwell she was during her time in the cult, but she knows what she did was wrong.
“I believed deeply that what I was doing was righteous and good and powerful and transformative and profound. I was living on 500 calories a day. I was running five or six miles every morning because that’s what Keith wanted,” she said. “I felt so bad. But the fanaticism was so present that I didn’t feel anything.”
Rosenbaum said he knows she doesn’t do many interviews and thanked her for appearing on his podcast, “Inside of You.” “It meant a lot to me that you reached out to me. You were one of the first people in my old life to reach out and say, ‘That’s the only reason I’m here.’ Your kindness meant more than you could ever realize. It’s the only reason I’m here.” I think that says a lot about your character. ”
