Colin Jost portrays “War Secretary” Pete Hegses in the first Cold Open of the 51st season, laments that “our army is gay as hell,” but laments that “it should never be fat!”
This reflects his actual meeting with the top generals of the army this week, and during that time the meeting was oddly similar. Jost’s version removed the subtext and demanded that the army be filled with “hot, fine, hairless men, undoubtedly not gay.”
James Austin Johnson’s Trump then interrupted, saying he “just look at ‘SNL’ here and make sure they don’t make any sense about me either.”
Trump then got the meta and said, “Leave SNL 51 to a rough start: 17 new cast members and the ‘renewal’ guy who nodded to Hiling and fired from the summer.”
He also rode Jost’s jab and said, “I thought he was with his friend at the Riad Comedy Festival.”
Trump then reminded the audience to answer FCC attack dog Brandon Carr if the late-night show gets out of control. “Mikey Day led to the scene as Carr through musical cues from Rockwell’s “Someone Watching Me,” and fixed Trump due to a misunderstanding of his name (it’s actually Brendan).
Trump ended the segment by saying, “Remember: Daddy is watching.”
Since being hired in 2021, Johnson has been drawing Trump on Saturday Night Live.
Please see the sketch below.
