Beartooth frontman Caleb Shomo says he was “terrified” when he came out as gay to his wife of 14 years, Fleur Shomo.
“I was just rolling my eyes and screaming, trying really hard to get the words out,” he said on Wednesday’s episode of “This Respectfully,” a podcast hosted by “Vanderpump Rules” alums Katie Maloney and Dana Kathan.
“And I’m really bad at verbalizing things and this is obviously something so intense and I’m so nervous and scared in that situation that it’s really, really hard to verbalize and I couldn’t verbalize it very well,” the 33-year-old musician continued.
Caleb said that after being “away” from his sexuality for a long time, he had a “really difficult” conversation with Fleur and told her “I feel the same way about guys as I feel about girls.”
“There’s something in there that I’ve been running from for so long, and I don’t think I want to run anymore,” he recalled saying again. “And then the hinge broke.”
Caleb explained that after coming out, he was able to “stop hating himself so much” and went to therapy “right away,” which helped him deal with his “severe ADHD.”
“I’ve learned over a long life that if you don’t do certain things in your daily life to prevent it, it’s easy for something to happen that spirals back into the hole and puts everything back together,” he said. “So I decided to take this seriously.”
The “Last Breath” singer said he was able to better accept his homosexuality through “therapy, exercise, good food, sunshine, quality sleep, and creativity.”
Later in the podcast, Caleb said his “ultimate goal” in life now is to love himself and help others reach the same place, but admitted he has a “long road” to “forgiving myself.”
“I feel like I’m heading down that path,” he said. “I’m letting it be. I’m not going to rush anything. I’m not going to force anything. One step at a time.”
Caleb came out as gay in an Instagram statement on May 23, telling fans that he has been “unpacking and thinking about” his sexuality for “quite some time.”
The musician said that after “hiding my emotions with alcohol for 10 years,” he vowed to stop suppressing his emotions and give himself the grace to “experience self-love.”
“It has been incredibly difficult to support my husband while losing everything,” Fleur, who married Caleb in 2012, wrote in an Instagram post.
She also said her 14-year marriage to Caleb was “amazing and filled with so much fun, adventure and love.”
“I already miss my husband more than anything,” he added. “Our story has been a great one, and now it’s over.”
Fleur and Caleb have no children.
