Toward the end of his monologue on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Thursday night, the host received a very special delivery from UPS: a giant horse and a baby horse.
“I didn’t order a horse!” Kimmel yelled to the UPS delivery man. “I didn’t order either one!”
The UPS man began dragging the baby horse onto the stage with Guillermo in tow, but suddenly the horse split in half, revealing Kimmel’s longtime nemesis Matt Damon.
Damon, who plays Odysseus in Christopher Nolan’s new film The Odyssey, mocked his rival.
“The horse is here and there’s no going back, bitch! You did it! I’m here, baby!” suggested Damon. “I have traveled far, through waves and wars, to save this audience from mediocrity.”
“What is this? This is trespassing! This is another crime you committed here!” Kimmel responded.
“Your face is a crime,” Damon retorted.
When Kimmel asked how long he had been hiding in that horse, Damon replied, “Did the Knicks win?”
“What are you doing here?” Kimmel asked.
“How do you feel, idiot? I’m on your show. I’m promoting my new movie, coming out July 17th,” Damon said. “It’s called ‘The Odyssey.’ You might not know that because it’s based on a book.”
Kimmel continued, “Did you make this movie to sneak into this room with a Trojan horse? That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. What a loser you are.”
Not to be outdone, Damon replied, “No, we made this movie so you could say that horse is a Trojan horse. Instead of your father keeping you, he should have used it as a little wiener.”
