“The Daily Show” is back after summer vacation. In this week’s episode, Jon Stewart tackled the greedy rumours of Donald Trump’s untimely death.
Stewart opened the segment with a news clip covering Trump’s health gossip, with experts saying “we didn’t see a lot of the president last week,” and “he clearly hides something about his health.”
“What the hell?” Stewart said, “Your people, your reporter, don’t have the cold! A man can’t take days to R&R and non-surgical breast reduction.
In another series of clips, Stewart showed how the media could quickly point out Trump’s “unsightly cancre” and “lump eyes.”
“It’s okay, now you’re just mean,” Stewart joked. “He has swollen ankles.” Look at his fucking eyes! This is a problem with the superficial Instagram culture.
But for Stewart, it wasn’t Trump’s physical appearance that he worried about. It “sounds like they’re saying goodbye whenever one of his biggest supporters is with him.”
Stewart then cut into clips of Trump’s allies saying, “For you, the president who works for this government, this is the greatest honor of my life.”
“When you start to notice that, you really start to see that the whole atmosphere around this president is a very chair-filled kid,” Stewart said. “Everyone who appears in his office will make one of his dreams come true.”
Examples of Stewart’s Make-A-Wish Kid’s actions included Trump receiving the U.S. Former S badge honor badge, demanding that Trump supporters win the Nobel Peace Prize, and the Supreme Court required that federal agents be allowed to target deportees based on race or language.
“Hey, the good news: the Supreme Court supports positive race-based behavior,” Stewart said. “The bad news is that the action is banishing you. What do you fuck? What kind of make-a-wish kids want to disable the fourth fix?”
Check out the entire monologue below.
