Kristin Cavallari has accepted the “pain” she suffered during her divorce from Jay Cutler.
“The Hills” alum said on Tuesday’s episode of the “Let’s Be Honest” podcast that she didn’t learn to “love through the hard times” until she divorced the NFL star.
“There is beauty in pain. We need darkness to understand light,” she said of her high-profile divorce.
“For years, ever since I can remember, I didn’t want to feel anything,” recalls the Uncommon James designer. “I just wanted to push everything away. I was like, ‘Okay, okay, okay. I’m a tough girl.'”
She continued, “I was fine. I didn’t know how to ask for help. I couldn’t be vulnerable.”
But divorcing Cutler after nearly seven years of marriage gave her the chance to experience it all.
“I was like, ‘You know what? This is the first time in my life that I want to feel everything,'” the reality star recalled.
“I want to experience it all. I want to feel the pain, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to sit in it. I don’t want to rush or run away from it.”
Cavallari added, “Thank God, because that’s where most of my growth and life comes from. Pain, hurt, and suffering are there to teach us something. We learn and grow from it.”
She explained that “instead of running away from the pain” she faced the loss head on, “as if the pain never happened.”
“This way you can get to the other side, and it’s more beautiful there,” she said.
Cavallari, 39, and Cutler, 42, married in 2013 and had children Camden, 13, Jackson, 11, and Saylor, 10, but announced their split in a joint statement in 2020.
“After 10 years together, it is with great sadness that we have come to the loving conclusion of divorcing,” the statement said, adding that the separation was due to “circumstances that have begun to distance us.”
The couple finalized a controversial divorce in 2022, but the fallout from their divorce continues to make headlines as they publicly dispute the terms of their settlement.
In 2024, she likened co-parenting with the athlete to a “bumpy road” despite trying to maintain an amicable relationship.
“[It’s]really hard. It hasn’t been easy, to say the least,” she confessed during an appearance on the Dumb Blonde podcast at the time.
Cavallari has since dated TikTok star Mark Estes, but the former pair split seven months later in September 2024.
