What you need to know
Macy Neely is opening up about her experience as a survivor of domestic violence and sexual assault.
On Tuesday, Dec. 30, Mace posted a TikTok video in which she talks about her personal experience in an allegedly abusive relationship. “First and foremost, I want to warn you,” she began.
She revealed that she has been tagged in several videos related to domestic violence and sexual assault in recent weeks, saying, “Because obviously I’ve been through that too and I’m definitely an advocate for it,” before continuing with a message for other survivors.
“I know that when you are a victim, you should never compare your situation to other victims because they are not the same,” she said. “I think one of the things I want to talk about is how women return to their abusers. I can tell you my experience.”
When asked why she continued the relationship after her “abuser” “pushed me, choked me, and[sexually assaulted]me,” Macy said, “Because I felt threatened.”
“My university has a strict honor code, so my abuser threatened to expel me,” she explained, adding that her ex-partner threatened to send pictures of her drinking to the university to get her expelled.
She also cited “Stockholm Syndrome” as another reason for continuing to date.
“The abuser may have financial problems,” Macy said. “There can be periods of good behavior and bad behavior that can make them feel isolated. These little things that happen at the beginning of a relationship are probably like little red flags. When you’re in a relationship like this, they become part of your routine, and after a while you don’t even notice them.”
Macy said a “lack of self-worth” is another reason people are drawn back to their alleged abusers, adding that victims often “stay because they feel they have no other choice.”
Maci talked about how being in an abusive relationship changed her perspective.
“There’s a lot more psychological abuse, there’s so much mental aspect to it that when you’re going through it, it’s so crazy that it’s indescribable. My whole personality changed. I became an angry person. I became a person that I didn’t even recognize. Before I was in an abusive relationship, I would look at that and be like, ‘Oh, get out,'” Macy continued.
Macy, who announced her pregnancy with husband Jacob in February, said: “It wasn’t very fun filming while I was pregnant and then having a reunion after giving birth. I wasn’t really able to share my domestic violence and SA stories on the show.”
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Macy detailed her experience in her memoir, Told You So, and ended by telling other survivors: “If you’re a victim, this is your trigger. I see you, I hear you, I’m with you, and I love you, and thank you for listening.”
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star’s book, Told You So, will be published on October 7th and is available for pre-order now.
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, please text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line (741-741). Connect with a certified crisis counselor.
