What you need to know
For many people in Alana Underwood’s position, they would have to make the impossible choice of ending a relationship in order to better understand their identity.
It was 2020, and Underwood had been dating a man named Kevin Jankei for a little over three years. She tells PEOPLE that even though she’s been an “active heterosexual” her whole life, pursuing and dating only men, a small thought in the back of her mind always wondered if she had romantic interests in women as well. She started wanting to explore what her bisexuality felt like, and wanted to explore it with Junkei.
When she finally told her boyfriend how she felt, he accepted. She says they decided to pursue what Underwood believed to be an “experimental, one-time sexual experience” with another woman together. But neither of them could have predicted what would happen next.
Six years later, Underwood and Junkei are still on good terms. That means there’s another person joining their relationship: Megan Smith. In many ways, the relationship between these three mirrors the relationship between two partners. They live together, sometimes argue, and share a dog. And in other respects it is not at all similar to its monogamous counterpart.
In a wide-ranging conversation with PEOPLE, the trio, who share their relationship with nearly 300,000 followers on TikTok under the name “Camp Throople,” recount the origins of their unconventional relationship, graciously answer the burning questions they’re tired of answering (yes, they all share a bed!), and describe their experiences expressing their love on social media.
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Underwood and Junkei first connected with Smith, who had a wife at the time, through a dating app. The four talked virtually for about a month, and when they finally decided to meet in person, they told PEOPLE they were very nervous.
“I was panicking inside and trying to figure something out,” Underwood laughs. Not only was Underwood preparing for his first relationship with the trio, he was also preparing for his first experience with a woman. “Luckily, Megan over there was very confident and helped me out.”
Initially, their relationship as a group was “purely sexual,” Jankei says.
But they continued to meet. And after they met, on the two-hour drive home from Smith’s house, Underwood and Junkei began to admit to each other that new, scary and exciting feelings were brewing. Their sexual relationship was also becoming romantic.
After about four months of dating, Smith and his wife broke up. The reason, she said, was that Underwood and Junkei were “unrelated.” The remaining three briefly stopped communicating, but reunited several months later and finally solidified their status as a trio in January 2021.
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When all three moved in together, it certainly brought a new set of challenges to overcome. The three shared a 600-square-foot apartment, one bathroom, and a single bedroom with a queen bed tucked into an air mattress. (“One bathroom is always fun for three people,” Smith laughs.)
They decided to switch off the person sleeping in the middle every night. “There are pros and cons to the middle ground,” Underwood says. “It’s great because you can cuddle with both partners, but it gets really, really hot. So we rotate to keep the temperature even.”
Underwood and Junkei, who had already lived together before Smith joined, also made a concerted effort to make sure she felt included and wasn’t constantly left out for coming in late.
“We were very aware of how she was feeling and tried to put ourselves in her shoes,” says Underwood. “I think there is a potential for jealousy and feeling left out, and we are very aware of that.”
However, the three agree that for relationships to work, it is necessary to recognize that complete equality between individual relationships is an unrealistic goal. Rather, they had to learn to understand the differences in how everything relates to each other.
“Individuals have different ways of loving,” Smith says. “That doesn’t mean it’s more or less. It’s just a different kind of relationship. For example, my relationship with Alana is very different than my relationship with Kevin. But it doesn’t mean it’s more or less. It’s just a different experience and a different kind of love.”
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As a devoted family, they have also noticed amazing ways relationships are strengthened. After all, Jankei points out, pyramids are one of the most sound geometric structures.
“You get double the support and double the love,” he says. “You can take something out on one person and get feedback from another. If you’re having an argument or an argument with one person, the other person can provide a perspective that you don’t see in the heat of the moment.”
A few years after the three moved together, they got a place to live in Colorado. It was a larger house with more space and, importantly, three bathrooms. Although their living situation is unconventional for most people, Jankei feels it’s “very normal,” she says, “because we’re just always together.”
Still, there was another hurdle they had to overcome in defining their relationship. It’s about telling your parents.
Smith’s mother, whom Underwood affectionately describes as “a total hippie,” was already on board from the beginning. But things were even trickier for Underwood and Junkei.
“I sat down with my parents and was like, ‘Hey, I’m bisexual and I have a girlfriend — and that’s Kevin’s girlfriend, too,'” Underwood says, laughing about the current situation. “I’m not kidding, their jaws will hit the floor.”
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But while they seemed surprised at first, her parents soon came around and were “like, ‘Okay, so you went camping with me?'” Underwood said. They just tried to figure out the best way to continue this conversation, and it turned out much better than I expected. ”
Jankei’s parents were not so kind. After telling her the news on the drive home, she received a phone call from her mother who told her that her relationship with him was “not good,” and she didn’t speak to him for the next two years. “We were slowly making progress and she started having conversations with me, but it was never about my life or asking how the girls were doing or anything like that,” he says.
“But we believe that everyone is on a journey and that love can overcome anything,” Junkei continues. “There’s no animosity or anger. She’s had her own journey and I respect that. And I’ll be here when she wants and hopefully when she wants.”
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They may seem like experts now, but all three are quick to admit that polyamory – a structure that goes beyond traditional monogamous relationships – was completely new to them even just five years ago. And that’s one of the reasons the three decided to open a TikTok account named “CampThrouple,” where they started sharing online about their unconventional relationship.
It didn’t take long for their account to gain traction. “I posted one video and woke up the next morning with 300,000 views,” Smith said. “We were like, ‘Oh, oh-‘”
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On social media, the trio shares content that combines comedy, information, and lifestyle, detailing the unconventional aspects of their relationship structure and answering questions from followers about how their partnership works.
Although they’ve had the opportunity to connect with many other people in polyamorous relationships, Underwood says their favorite messages are from people who say, “I didn’t know what this was like, but if my child came to me and said they were in this type of relationship, now I have an idea of what it would be like.”
But Smith insists he didn’t set up his account to convince his followers that polyamory is “the way to go” for everyone. She goes on to say that even if the three of them had to break up, which is a very sad situation, she’s not even sure if she’d ever be in a polyamorous relationship again.
“We just happened to find a mutual match and it flowed and worked right,” she says. “I don’t think that’s necessarily the perfect way to live or the best way to go about your relationships. I think people should do what makes them happy and what makes them comfortable, but we just want to highlight the positive aspects of it.”
