Hilaria Baldwin’s eating disorder became so severe that she was counting the calories in her toothpaste.
The yoga instructor, who is currently starring in FOX’s new unscripted series “Nations Damn Best,” detailed her 20-year struggle in an exclusive interview with SiriusXM’s Page Six Radio on Tuesday morning.
“I did it all,” Baldwin told co-hosts Danny Murphy and Evan Real. “I did it all: anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, binge eating,” Baldwin told co-hosts Danny Murphy and Evan Real.
Baldwin, now 42, revealed that he “started dieting” when he was five years old.
The reality star, who has seven children with husband Alec Baldwin, added that as she gets older, she is “really struggling” with not knowing when she’s hungry and when she’s full.
“Looking back, I looked fine,” she recalled. “But[at the time]I thought I was a whale. I thought something had broken inside me.”
The “Dancing with the Stars” alum said she put “a lot of effort” into overcoming her eating disorder before having children, and admitted that her ADHD made her “hyper-focused” on healing.
“I don’t want to live like this. I’m miserable,” she recalled feeling during the struggle. “You can’t have good relationships. You can’t have good friendships. You can’t go out to eat with people. It’s very, very, very stressful.”
Hilaria said she doesn’t “want to pass on” the same struggles to her children, so she tries to have open and honest conversations with them about food.
“What I try to do with the kids is empower them and talk about strength and talk about, ‘How does eating food make you feel?'” Hilaria explained.
She doesn’t always approve of her kids eating unhealthy snacks like Cheetos, but she also doesn’t see any “shame” in indulging them.
In fact, Hilaria said she “can’t wait” to post a video of herself and her youngest daughter munching on two pints of Haagen-Dazs ice cream late at night. In the past, he would have been “afraid” of such behavior.
The “Baldwins” star first opened up about her past struggles with eating disorders in her 2016 memoir, “The Living Clearly Method.”
She further detailed her healing journey in a 2018 Instagram post.
“I’ve learned that being healthy means not focusing on your weight, but focusing on how you feel, how strong you are, and how healthy you are,” she wrote at the time. “Weight and appearance are side effects; they are not the main focus. Since I started focusing on my health, I no longer have an obsession with weight. They should not be confused.”
‘Nations of the Damnedest’ airs every Wednesday at 9pm ET on Fox.
