Scooby-dooby-doo, what the hell did they do to you?!
I feel it is wrong to publish a column that is in fact anti-puppy. That’s like claiming that pizza is disgusting or that beaches are overrated. But the new TV series takes the cute pet glut to a terrible extreme and must be criticized for its stupidity.
These geniuses cast a real dog as Scooby-Doo.
Before we explain the obvious insanity of that choice, what on earth is this stupid show all about?
Scooby-Doo: Origins is a live-action Netflix show scheduled for release in 2027 that follows Fred, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma and Scoob as they form Mystery Inc. at a teenage summer camp.
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Rouleau. The title is already annoying, and for some reason it imposes a mythical self-seriousness on a series named after a talking hound. Who cares how 1970s potheads met? They are comedic monster hunters who get along well with Jonathan Winters and Don Knotts. They’re not Darth Vader.
“Origins” is executive produced by Greg Berlanti, so expect a CW-esque approach similar to “Riverdale” or “The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.” Darker, hotter, drier. This mold seems odd for a silly story where the four-legged protagonist is primarily motivated by tasty Scooby snacks, but these people can’t help themselves.
No one wants cool updates, and for that matter, no one wants more Doo at all.
“Scooby-Doo” as a brand is more exhausting than having a dog outside in August. There are 38 direct-to-video releases alone. Remember that movie where Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar fly to a boozy island resort where the gang goes on spring break? If you say no, you’re in luck!
But the worst thing about the new series is that Marquee’s canines spin out.
To match the live actors playing the group, the show uses real puppies. Bonkers.
It looks like Scoob is still talking. He has been voiced by Frank Welker, the original Fred and Scooby, for over 20 years. Perhaps, like the literary Jack Russell terrier in “Wishbone,” we will have an internal monologue that does not involve the movement of the mouth. Sure, they can’t smear peanut butter on their gums and make them flap in a “Mr. Ed” fashion.
How depressing it is to have to speculate about this at all.
One of the biggest flaws in Hollywood’s mostly mistaken intellectual property plundering is its habit of redoing animated 2D cartoons with real people and real (or at least real-like) animals.
Disney is the culprit behind a trove of uninspired remakes (The Lion King, Lilo & Stitch, the new Moana). That’s because Disney’s talent pool is shallow, they can’t come up with fresh ideas, and their recent bosses have run companies that aren’t as innovative as the Cheesecake Factory.
The live-action trend was and still is dire.
Comics are fickle, and actors have to be very careful. They eventually run out of color and lose their magic. They dilute the humor and fun. And they are contributing to the long-observed decline in childhood creativity and imagination, accelerated by mobile screens and mindless social media scrolling.
Are you blaming cute dogs too much on TV shows? perhaps. But it’s a slippery slope to a post-apocalyptic dystopia where a trained rabbit plays Bugs Bunny.
Now, we can hear the voice of the IP junkies at Warner Bros. And if it weren’t for you critics, we would be fine with this too.
