The April 4 episode of “Saturday Night Live” marked Jack Black’s fifth time hosting the show, granting him access to the exclusive “Five Times Club.” Several comedy legends celebrated by making cameos during his monologue.
First up is Jonah Hill, who tells Black that “there’s something wrong with the five-timer’s club” as he enters the lounge that has previously appeared in other five-time player monologues, only this time it’s covered in cobwebs.
Black was greeted in the lounge by Tina Fey, who often returns to “SNL” when five new contestants are inducted. “You’re the first black person in the five-time club,” Fey said, poking fun at the show’s often-criticized lack of racial diversity. (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who is of mixed race descent, became the first black five-time contestant in 2017, but all other five-time contestants are white.)
“What happened to this once glorious place?” asked Black. “You know, it’s better than it used to be,” Faye answered. “What started as a one-off joke in a Tom Hanks monologue was brought back so many times that it literally ran into the ground. For example, this is my fifth sketch for my fifth club.”
“It’s a double five-timer. Is that why you’re wearing that special jacket?” Black asked. “No, this is actually my first SNL UK cover,” she said. Fey first hosted the UK version of SNL on March 21st. “I think it’s made out of Paddington,” he continued, referring to the fur lining on his jacket and turning to show him the head of an imaginary bear.
Candice Bergen then appears, saying, “You know, I spent the night with Paddington in 1700. Let’s just say he found something he liked much more than marmalade.” When Black reacts in shock, she adds, “What? Bitches can party too!”
Then Melissa McCarthy appeared from behind the cobweb-covered bar. “Speaking of parties, does anyone know where I can buy drinks? I can’t find them,” she said. “All they got was a warm can of John Mulaney’s beer.” Since Mulaney was sober, Fay objected, “That’s non-alcoholic, right?” McCarthy opened the can with his key, said, “You can’t pour vodka,” and then fired with a shotgun.
Next up was SNL star Marcello Hernandez, who played Domingo, and Black slammed the 28-year-old for entering the lounge five times without getting paid. “Have you ever been on the show five times?” he asked. “Yes, I counted that too!” Hernandez said.
Jack White, the musical guest on Black’s episode, interrupted Hernandez by hitting him over the head with a frying pan and saying he had to leave. “Why so soon?” Black asked. “Well, the hearse has to be moved because guests who appear in five musicals are only allowed to park for 15 minutes,” White said.
Black was determined to fix the five-time contestant’s club “the only way I know how: with the power of rock.” He and White began parodying “Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes (rock duo White and Meg White).
“I’m coming back to host ‘Saturday Night Live’ for the fifth time/And it’s a crime if I don’t destroy it/Everything in the lounge is broken and wrong/But I’m going to fix it by singing the world’s rockiest song,” Black sings, before saying, “Come on, give me a marching choir of wizards.” Black continued singing as a group of backup dancers appeared. “I’ll make it work/The five-man army breaks the curse/We’ve got Jack Black and White/He’s shredding with an ax while I sing the next verse/We’ve got Melissa, Candice Bergen, Jonah Hill, Brit Tina Fey/It’s a nightmarishly dull rotation, I think this will save the day.”
Watch the monologue below.
