No one cares who wins at the Grammys, except for a few big awards.
You know what kind of major awards I’m talking about.
Congratulations to “Nomadica”, winner of Best New Age, Ambient, or Chant Album!
For those genuinely interested: Bad Bunny won album of the year for “DTMF,” Kendrick Lamar won record of the year for “Luther,” and Billie Eilish and Finneas O’Connell won song of the year for “Wildflower.”
But in reality, any celebration of the best in music should be judged by how thrilling a concert it is. After all, they are flesh-and-blood entertainers, not Nobel Prize winners.
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And Sunday night’s Grammy Awards, held at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles, was supposed to be especially exciting. There was no Taylor Swift or Beyoncé.
Well, about half of it was great.
Some smart producers have chosen the perfect track to start the night with. This is a loud and dynamic performance of Bruno Mars and Rosé’s “APT,” which was nominated for the Record of the Year award.
Contagious like a cold, the upbeat tune woke everyone up. And, in a rarity among award shows, events that tend to get worse rather than better, there were plenty of equally great performances.
For a while anyway.
Camp-loving Sabrina Carpenter turned the stage into an airport terminal for her sexy song “Manchild.” She boarded a functioning baggage carousel and handled live pigeons.
Later, during “Sugar On My Tongue”, Tyler, the Creator drove a red hot rod into a dancer, “killing him.” Then the gas station scenery on stage exploded, filled with fireworks and debris. I would like to pay more attention to the lyrics.
Justin Bieber has made a comeback of sorts, getting naked in more ways than one. In his first performance in front of a large crowd in four years, he walked shirtless on the rug wearing only his boxers and socks.
Then he sang “Peaches,” accompanied only by a guitar, a looper pedal, and a biker bar’s worth of tattoos.
He exited abruptly without informing the crowd, as if he had sleepwalked into the theater many miles from home.
Proud weirdo Lady Gaga jammed to “Abracadabra” behind Satan’s DJ booth with an upside-down basket on her head. Next to the meat dress is business casual for her.
Fun, fun, fun. Around that time, his Grammy Award winning streak began to grow.
In Memoriam was split between Reba McIntyre’s heavy metal tribute to Ozzy Osbourne and Lauryn Hill’s tribute to D’Angelo. It was especially nice to see the hitherto banished rock and roll included in the mix, but it’s been around for a while.
In between music? Groaning jokes and politics.
Trevor Noah returned as host for the sixth and final time. His main strength in this role is his quickness. He rattles off his lines like a fast food teller and never stops laughing. This is probably for the best. They may not come.
Noah, a former “Daily Show” host, brought celebrities to the table and delivered repeated abuses of President Trump. Everyone thought, “Let’s hurry up and get on with the song.”
Sunday night was a highly political ceremony, with frequent references, both directly and indirectly, to the ICE protests in Minneapolis. These musicians seemed timid and indifferent compared to their compatriots in the film industry.
Stars like Carole King, Joni Mitchell, and the Beavers wore “ICE Out” pins.
And when Eilish won song of the year, she went full anarchist.
“No one will live illegally on stolen land!” she declared.
Next year, the Grammy Awards will move to ABC after decades on CBS.
But I know where they go for me: YouTube clips on Monday morning.
