Mariska Hargitay says ‘My Mama Jane’ took two years to make, but a lifetime in preparation.

More than 50 years after her mother’s death, Mariska Hargitay decided she was ready to share her story.

Hargitay, who inspired viewers for 27 seasons as Olivia Benson on NBC’s Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, is the daughter of Hollywood icon Jayne Mansfield, who died in a car accident in 1967 at the age of 34.

In June of this year, Hargitay released My Mom Jayne, a stunning portrait of the mother she never knew, and a reimagining of her own story. As the documentary continues to be screened at various award-winning film festivals this fall, the SVU actress, 61, is reflecting on what happened in the making of the documentary.

“I feel like people say how long have I been preparing to make this movie? And the answer is two-fold. I’ve spent two and a half years making this movie, and I’ve spent my whole life preparing to make this movie. I feel like it’s preparation and building the infrastructure within myself to be able to tell the story in a clear and concise way while fighting all these demons,” Hargitay said during a panel on day one of Hello Sunshine’s third annual meeting. Shine Away Events Connected by AT&T.

The two-time Emmy winner also revealed that the idea for the documentary came to her during the pandemic, when she had time to look a little deeper into her family’s history. She began confronting “stuff that I had pushed aside,” such as a box filled with photos of her mother and letters from people who knew her.

“I finally opened this box, and it was very scary to me because it was like Pandora’s Box,” Hargitay recalled. “And I opened it and started reading the letters. One of the letters said, ‘Dear Mariska, I played violin with your mom in high school and I used to sit outside her driveway and listen to her play.'” Hargitay recalled. “And I was so struck by the idea that my mother was an extraordinary musician that she inspired her friends to do so.”

Hargitay then began calling people who had written to her over the years about her mother, hoping they would talk to her.

“I reached out to probably four people and had extraordinary conversations with them… It was like someone handed me her, a piece of my mother that I had longed for for a long time, and at the same time (she) was something that I had been pushing away,” Hargitay said.

Hargitay also knew that in choosing to make this film, she had to be completely prepared, having developed the skills to navigate and analyze the inevitable discoveries about her mother and herself.

“(This film) was cathartic, extraordinary, scary and eventful. That’s why I’m stepping up and talking about making sure we have the infrastructure in-house to make this film,” she said. “Frankly, I didn’t want to hurt myself or my family again.”

“I fell into something that I was so afraid of, and I was so scared, and I thought, ‘Either I’m going to live like this and do it for the rest of my life, or, as we all know, the only way out is through.’ I thought that the only way to unburden myself was to find out what had happened. And[I]longed so much for my mother, to understand who she was and where I came from. Who am I?”

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My Mama Jane is currently streaming on HBO Max.