You need to know
Starting school at a young age can be nerve-wracking, so one Florida mother has found a way to help her daughter start the day confidently through her morning assertion.
Tiania Haneline tells people that she and her daughter began making a statement in 2020 when her 44-year-old daughter realized the importance of making her daughter Scarlett happy with her skin. As a white mother of an interracial daughter, Hanelin knew that Scarlett was essential to embrace her beauty and instilling confidence from a young age.
Hanelin says she had made her days assertions for years, but she began doing them loudly in front of her daughter until Scarlett was four years old.
Lindsay Smith in Sullivan Blue photo
“Scarlett was doing my hair, so I said, what do you know? I’m going to make some assertions. It was very powerful for me,” she recalls. “I never saw myself in the mirror. It’s a big thing that allows you to see yourself when you tell yourself, ‘Who am I?’ I remember that it was very powerful for me.
But Haneline not only does their daily reminders go far beyond just their appearance, but also gives Scarlet the confidence to “do something hard.”
“If Scarlett hears that someone is not nice to someone else, she makes sure that she’s letting them know that it’s not that good,” shares Hanelin. “If we implement it with our kids, those kids can help other kids in the classroom. Everyday assertions are the way to go, and they don’t need to put too much pressure on when they do it or what they’re saying.
The mother-daughter duo and their morning assertions took social media by storm, garnering millions of views and fostering a community of loyal followers of over 7 million. They will affirm together as Scarlett spends his day in a homeschooling co-op, whether they are preparing for their homeschool lessons.
Lindsay Smith in Sullivan Blue photo
“I tell her, ‘Are there any assertions you think you need to say today?” Then she reminds me of my assertions that I have to say too,” shares Hahnline. “She said, ‘Okay, well, you need to say yours too.’ That’s when we do it together.
Some of their most frequently recited affirmations are “I’m smart,” “I can do the hard things,” and “I’m brave.” It’s an important part of their everyday life, but Hanelin wants to make sure it “doesn’t feel like a chore.”
“There are times when Scarlett says, ‘I don’t want to do that.’ That’s fine. I won’t let her do that,” adds Hanelin.
Haneline hopes that teachers, students and other parents can use assertions in their daily lives to build self-confidence and a stronger self-image.
“For parents, if they haven’t made a statement yet, their children need to see that they love themselves,” she explains. “Everything about today is social media so bad that we need to be confident and instilled in us.”
Lindsay Smith in Sullivan Blue photo
“I feel even better when it comes to affirming myself because I have that assertion mother-child bond. And then I know they’re already thinking about it, so I feel like my kids can feel it too.”
Haneline shares its commitment to the Affirmation Hotline. There, they share that people can access the Mother Daughter Duo’s uplifting mantra when they need it most.
She hopes people understand that it’s okay to start small and that they don’t need to “lol.”
“It’s just like ‘I’m beautiful, I’m kind’, I want to tell my parents and teachers. It’s just simplicity.” “Affirmation works best when it’s viable and repeatable. Affirmation is such an anchor for children and parents navigating the transition, and building parent-child bonds is also a very useful way to do it.”
Hanelin sees firsthand how positively her daily affirmations have had on her daughter, instilling confidence in Scarlett from the school hallways to the runways in Milan and New York City.
“At the end of the day, affirmations are our anchor,” she adds. “That’s what we go back when we need to reset. If we have a bad day or anything, that’s where we go back to our affirmation.”
