What you need to know
For years, conversations about love have been central to Jay Shetty’s work.
In his new podcast, “Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection,” the 38-year-old life coach puts his theory into practice by helping real couples navigate the complexities of modern relationships.
During the journey, Shetty admitted that the experience reinforced the importance of building a marriage with Radhe Devlkia-Shetty.
“I think what inspires me in my own relationships is to keep reminding myself that the work is never done,” he tells PEOPLE exclusively.
The couple met in 2013 and married in April 2016.
Jesse Grant/Variety, via Getty
While Shetty’s podcast On Purpose often explores ideas about love through interviews with celebrities and experts, Messy Love features the former monk first-hand in the real-life experiences of three couples facing challenges in communication, trust, and intimacy.
Shetty says coaching others has reminded her that intimacy is never static. Even long-term partners can have unspoken feelings that remain hidden. And discovering these perspectives can be both surprising and enlightening.
“Whether you’re just starting out today, getting over a breakup, or have been with someone for a while, I think everyone can relate to this idea that you expect your partner to know you, and you think you know your partner, but you can still surprise each other with a different layer or level of vulnerability and openness,” he explains.
These insights emphasize that connections require continued attention and curiosity, not assumptions, Shetty added.
“I think that’s a really special moment in the series that everyone can experience,” he says. “‘Wait a minute. Just because we’ve been together for five or 10 years doesn’t mean we know the person perfectly and they know us perfectly.'”
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Alex G. Harper, Early Morning Riot/Audible
As a result, Shetty believes that communication is critical to deepening relationships and truly solving the root causes of most disorders.
“One of my favorite tools that I share shows how we can change our communication from accusatory, critical, and defensive to collaborative, connecting, and loving,” he shares.
“We don’t want to have difficult conversations to win. We don’t want to have difficult conversations to boost our egos,” Shetty added. “I want to do something like this because I want to strengthen our bond.”
Alex G. Harper, Early Morning Riot/Audible
For Shetty, this mindset goes far beyond coaching. It emphasized that meaningful connections, even in his own marriage, require ongoing commitment.
“Communication, conversation, and bonding are things we have to do every day. It’s not something we can choose to skip,” Shetty tells PEOPLE.
“If you slack off on it for days, weeks, or even months, you’ll pay the same price as not eating or sleeping for days, weeks, or months. So I think you have to look at your relationship as something that requires daily investment, and it’s not something that can be ignored or avoided.”
“Messy Love: Difficult Conversations for Deeper Connection” premiered on January 22, 2026, only on Audible.
