What you need to know
The TikTok video begins with Zachary Wilmore belting out a line from an Ariana Grande song played on his laptop. He abruptly stopped the music and turned his platinum blonde head to look directly into the camera with perfectly lined eyes highlighted by mascaraed eyelashes.
“I’m going to rush off,” the university student told his 2.3 million followers, without a hint of humor or sarcasm.
The “Get-ready-with-me” video posted by Wilmore, 22, on Sept. 16 depicts the second day of her journey to join the Greek life system at San Diego State University. As the fourth graders adjusted their blush and highlighter, they detailed their plans for the rush event at hand: Taco Tuesday.
“I’m not going to be late. I’m going to say hi to all my brothers. I’m going to make a great impression,” Wilmore said before showing off the outfit he chose for the rush event. Taking cues from Cher’s signature set from Clueless, he wore a midriff cropped gingham blazer with a matching miniskirt.
“I know I’ll probably wear less femme or whatever, but I don’t care! I truly feel it’s so important to dress like yourself,” he added. “If they don’t want me because I dress femme, that’s fine. I don’t belong there. Being rejected isn’t that scary for me.”
Wilmore echoes the same sentiment to “people” as he reflects on his decision to join a fraternity.
“I’m from Missouri, and the gays are fixated on Missouri girls…of course, I love girls my whole life,” the SDSU senior says. “But I missed the fraternity a little bit. It’s funny, considering the fact that I’m very feminine. I think that’s why I’ve always been fascinated by fraternities, because I look at fraternities and it’s a completely different type of bond that I really want. I just want to experience that.”
Zachary Wilmore
Wilmore first rushed through his freshman year, telling PEOPLE that he “came in not expecting much backlash.”
“When I said I was going to do it, I didn’t really get it, but after the first day I was like, ‘Wow, these are the straightest guys I’ve ever met,'” Wilmore says.
Alice Pi
He says he didn’t take issue with anyone’s heterosexuality, but he was turned off by any hint of homophobia.
In his haste, Wilmore worried that he would never find the replica of the true brotherhood he was looking for. That fear was based on meaningful interactions he had with members during his freshman year rush.
“One of the gay men in the fraternity came up to me and said, ‘Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I might be able to make a bid for you. If this is what you want, I really, really guarantee you, but please know that fraternities operate as a hierarchical system and a lot of times minorities can end up at the bottom,'” Wilmore said of the interaction.
“He also talked about his experiences as a gay man in a fraternity, how he usually did all the scheduling, and how difficult it was to call them out on their actions in various ways,” he told PEOPLE, claiming that the actions included gay slurs.
Wilmore admits that his younger self still wanted to be a part of Greek life, even after hearing some of the most candid reviews of its members’ experiences. But in the end, I decided that wasn’t the best way to start my first year of college.
As the years passed, Wilmore’s interest in Greek life never waned. He started the process again as a junior, but after a day of rushing, he pulled out, saying to himself, “I’m too old.”
“And this year, I honestly thought, excuse my French, ‘f-this is it. This is the last year I’ve wanted to do this for three years. I still think about it, I’m fascinated by the fraternity, I long for the brotherhood,'” Wilmore says. “So I thought I’d give it one more try.”
“I did it my own way. I didn’t really go up to anyone and say anything, but I knew that people knew me from TikTok,” he said.
Ms Wilmore decided to create a video to address and clarify some of the “concerns” she heard when she first arrived. For example, the content creator said he offered to sign an NDA because he knew some frat members were concerned about his social media presence.
“The second thing people were worried about was being known as gay frats[if they put in a bid],” he points out. Wilmore wasn’t shy about his identity in a TikTok video posted ahead of this year’s Rush.
He sums up his approach to PEOPLE: “I’m super gay so there’s not much I can do about it, but I promise to be a good brother.”
Wilmore was particularly encouraged by one of his gay Greek friends, who had a very different experience than the members he met as a freshman. His friend was in a frat for engineering students, and he described it as a very safe and inclusive space, so Wilmore decided to add an engineering minor to his degree to qualify him to join the group on campus.
The other members were just as charming as Wilmore’s friends. He remembers meeting with the chair of the College of Engineering to discuss what induction would be like. They welcomed him without prejudice.
“They said, ‘We want you to feel safe in deciding whether or not to participate. If someone says something, please let us know and we’ll take care of it completely. We want you to feel safe. We want you to feel like it’s okay to come here. And really, if something happens, don’t be afraid to reach out to us,'” he recalls. “It really meant a lot to me.”
By establishing himself as a fraternity member both on campus and online, Wilmore is carving out a space for a new type of “fraternity guy.” By being proud of his place in Greek life and his sexuality, Wilmore is opening up Greek life to more young gay students interested in the world of fraternity.
Chelsea Lombroso
“There was a cute, little freshman who came up to me and he said, ‘Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I saw your video when I was in high school… You really, honestly, inspired me to rush this year. But I’m really, really nervous,'” Wilmore tells PEOPLE.
He walked the new student to class and listened to his concerns about the situation. After listening, Wilmore gave me advice that I missed as a freshman.
“It’s a fun experience. They can’t really hurt you. The worst is the worst. If they don’t want you in the Brotherhood and it might make you uncomfortable, you should enjoy it,” Willmore recalls his words to the hopefuls in a hurry. “No one should feel like their sexuality prevents them from doing what they want to do or wanting to join the brotherhood.”
Wilmore was heartened to learn that his words of encouragement resonated with the new students and that they actually decided to come. Wilmore probably can’t personally reach every prospective gay frat member with these messages, but he hopes his social media platforms can provide a similar service. If viewers glean anything from his videos, Wilmore wants them to understand the importance of living life “in the most joyful way possible.”
“I know I should graduate and get good grades, but I think life stops being life when you stop having fun,” he added. “So do whatever you want, whatever your heart tells you to do, as long as it doesn’t hurt others.”
