Cara Delevingne’s time at Victoria’s Secret wasn’t all smiles and angel wings.
The British supermodel and musician, 33, opened up about walking the brand’s runway more than a decade ago on Wednesday’s episode of “Call Her Daddy,” telling host Alex Cooper that that runway moment was the darkest time of her life.
Delevingne, 33, has been open about her struggles with addiction and mental health in recent years, including a public low point in 2022 that led to her getting sober.
When Cooper pulled out a photo of Delevingne wearing a Candy Striper-inspired outfit at the 2012 Victoria’s Secret show, the model’s reaction was bittersweet. “It was fun. It felt like I was dressing up,” she said. “But then something dark happened.”
At the time, Delevingne was battling depression and went into hiding, using alcohol and drugs to cope. “When I woke up, I probably had a few shots of whiskey and a Xanax,” she said. “Then you won’t be so nervous walking down the runway.”
Hiding her sexuality in a backstage environment surrounded by the world’s most beautiful women in various states of undress also left her in a constant state of “gay panic,” she said.
“I was in the closet. I was gay. I also thought… have lesbians ever done the Victoria’s Secret thing?” she said to Cooper. “I had a great time, but I was also very confused. I felt like an undercover lesbian.”
She recalled the moment fellow model Candice Swanepoel casually undressed in front of her in a hotel room. “She took her clothes off – not in a sexual way, that’s what models do – and I fainted,” Delevingne said with a laugh. “I completely passed out.”
Despite representing the brand twice, Delevingne said she never felt like she fit the mold. “Everyone else had a very feminine figure…and I don’t have a butt,” she said. “At that point I thought, ‘I’m not a Victoria’s Secret Angel. I’m the devil.'” I remember when they asked me to be a part of it. I was like, “I don’t think I’m supposed to be here.” ”
Delevingne told Cooper he has now been sober for nearly four years, is dating a woman he went to school with, and is preparing to release his debut album. In the past, she has called her sobriety “worth every second” and talked about leaning on friends like Taylor Swift to get her through her toughest stretches.
