Britney Spears says she’s ‘lucky to be alive’ despite her family’s ‘treatment’

Britney Spears says she is “lucky to be alive” despite ongoing family tensions.

The 44-year-old singer opened up about her family and feelings of isolation in an Instagram post on Wednesday, February 4.

“As humans, all we really want is to feel connected to each other and never feel alone,” she began in her Instagram caption. “To the people in your family who said that helping you was to isolate you and make you feel incredibly left out, they were wrong.”

“As people we can forgive, but you never forget,” she continued. “It’s always important to crave and crave contact!!!”

Spears added that she believes she is “incredibly lucky to be alive after the one time in my life my family treated me and I’m scared for my family right now.”

The “Circus” singer went on to say, “It’s strange how God works in mysterious ways.”

“Friends, what do you think he’s saying today??” she asked, before adding: “Because, let’s be honest, no matter what he says, they’ll never take responsibility for what they did.”

In her afterword, Spears said she enjoyed cheesecake with her neighbors but hadn’t danced in a month because she broke her toe twice.

This recent post comes after Spears has been open for years about her conflicted feelings towards her family, including her father Jamie, 73, mother Lynn, 70, and sister Jamie Lynn, 34.

During the holiday season, Spears shared a photo of a Christmas tree on Instagram with a caption that poked fun at her family’s holiday plans.

“A late Christmas to my beautiful family, who have never disrespected me, never hurt me, never done anything completely unacceptable, never caused incredible trauma that cannot be repaired…” she wrote on Dec. 28. “To my dear innocent family…I’m so sorry this Christmas has been so busy, but I’m sure I’ll show up soon and surprise you…I can’t wait.”

Spears ended her note with a message for Jamie Lynn’s “beautiful” 7-year-old daughter, Ivy.

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On Christmas Day, Jamie Lynn shared a family photo of herself, daughters Maddie, 17, and Ivy, and Spears’ son Sean Preston.

Spears has two sons, Preston, 20, and Jaden, 19, with ex-husband Kevin Federline. She spent Christmas with her son Jaden, a source previously told PEOPLE.

Spears opened up about her family’s complicated bond in her 2023 memoir, The Woman in Me. In her book, she said she grew up in Jamie Lynn’s shadow and was “deeply aware” of being a child of divorce.

In 2023, Spears and her mother spent the star’s birthday together. At the time, a source told PEOPLE that Spears was “still hurting because she feels like her mom could have been more helpful,” but that Lynn was “really trying to be a part of Britney’s life.”

Meanwhile, Spears has repeatedly talked about her court-ordered conservatorship overseen by her father and lawyer. The conservatorship began in 2008, and in June 2021, Britney challenged the conservatorship in court and spoke out about it for the first time. “I’ve been lying and telling the whole world that I’m okay and that I’m happy,” she said, adding, “I’m not happy. I can’t sleep. I’m depressed. I cry every day.”

Jamie was removed from her role as conservator of the estate in September 2021 after Spears’ lawyers asked the court for a suspension, and her conservatorship was ultimately terminated in its entirety in November of the same year.

In 2022, Spears’ former lawyer Matthew S. Rosengart objected to her paying her father’s legal fees. According to court documents obtained by PEOPLE, Jamie is accused of paying more than $6 million to himself while under conservatorship, monitoring his daughter, and committing financial misconduct while under conservatorship. Jamie denied any wrongdoing.

Father and daughter settled their legal battle over legal fees in April 2024.