Ever since “The Bachelor” alum Ashley Iaconetti was announced as one of the seven female anchors of Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island,” fans of the long-running ABC series, which has featured the reality star in at least four recurring roles, have been curious to know what she’s up to.
Iaconetti is something of an icon in Bachelor Nation. Thanks to her intense emotions, her appearances in the series’ multiple spin-offs provided viewers with wonderfully funny confessionals and countless tear-filled outbursts. After making her Bachelor debut in Season 19 in 2015 as one of the 30 women vying for Chris Soules’ heart, she appeared on Seasons 2 and 3 of Bachelor in Paradise, followed by the first Bachelor Winter Games.
Iaconetti met her current husband, Jared Haibon, on “Bachelor in Paradise,” and they married in 2019. In the years since, they’ve welcomed two sons and settled into life as a family of four in Haibon’s native Rhode Island, off-screen but still largely online.
And while her love life may have finally stabilized, Iaconetti finds herself back on the show among The Real Housewives of Rhode Island’s cast of fierce women who aren’t afraid to speak up or stick their fingers in each other’s faces — most of whom she’d never met before filming (in episode 1, Iaconetti is introduced to the crew through her friend Rosie DeMary during a seaside picnic).
“I’ve never seen people communicate with each other the way I experienced this summer,” Iaconetti told Variety. “So many times I sat in a situation like this and couldn’t believe my eyes. I can only imagine myself representing the audience watching at home.”
Below, Variety speaks with Iaconetti about her decision to return to reality TV (as seen on Thursday’s premiere of “Real Housewives of Rhode Island”), the differences between the two series, and her thoughts on “The Bachelorette” and Taylor Frankie Paul’s season, which is currently on hiatus.
Before we get into “Real Housewives,” why did you want to return to reality TV?
I’ve always loved doing it. It was always a lot of fun for me. The opportunity to do ‘The Bachelor’ gave me a life, a family, a career, and I’m forever grateful for that. If I had the chance, I would try to do more, and that’s what happened. And it’s a whole other world, I’ll tell you that.
So you didn’t need any convincing?
Ah, that’s right. Because this series is very different from “The Bachelor.” It’s a little more mixed into your real life. Photographed at home with family. It will become more and more integrated into your life. So Jared and I talked about that. To be honest, we thought about this decision for over a month because we were so happy and in such a great place. And we’re like, “Are we going to jump into this again?” We know it can be world-shaking, so a lot of thought and consideration went into it. I would much rather say “yes” to something, think about how long you want to be involved, then say “no” and never go through what could be.
Did it take you a while to get used to being in front of the camera again?
I think I probably felt more comfortable there than the other cast members. It wasn’t as invasive as I thought. I was always prepared for when my kids and family would be on camera, but they weren’t at my house much. To be honest, the drama had more of an impact on me. For the most part, the girls get along very well on The Bachelor. And here, that’s not the case.
Were you a fan of Housewives before you were cast?
To be honest, the most I watched “Housewives” was with my mom. She always loved the OG New York Housewives. She watched all their seasons. It’s funny, I don’t watch a lot of reality TV in general. Other than “The Bachelor,” I pretty much only watch “The Kardashians.” It’s one of those things where you don’t necessarily have to see it even though you’re so close to it.
Two episodes in and the ladies are already not getting along, but they only just met so it doesn’t add much to the drama mix. What was it like coming here and realizing that some of these women had years of history with each other?
It’s certainly intimidating. I’m definitely an extrovert and an introvert, and it really showed here. I felt very uncomfortable in many of these situations. So all I could do was sit back and watch everything unfold. If I were to jump into it, it honestly felt inappropriate. Because they didn’t know me very well and I didn’t know them.
Did you hear anything about the women before filming began? Did you know anything about it?
To be completely honest, it wasn’t until it was confirmed that I was part of the cast that I started hearing about the other women. So when we got cast, and even before that, when there were rumors about who was going to be cast, my group of friends here said to me, “You see so-and-so at the country club, and this is her reputation,” and “Oh, that girl, she knows her family, and she’s like this.” So from my group here, I’ve heard a lot about these women, which is just proof that it’s actually one level of separation.
What were your first impressions of the women?
I was scared to meet Jo-Ellen (Tiberi). To be honest, I had heard most of the rumors about Jo-Ellen and her reputation. She’s kind of the queen of gossip and I was worried about meeting her because of that and obviously I was friends with Rosie because she and Rosie had some beef and went on camera. However, Joe Ellen was very friendly and much more approachable than I expected. Alicia (Carmody) had a bigger personality than I imagined. Liz (McGraw) was just as intimidating as I expected her to be, but after a few hang-ups I realized she was a very sweet person.
In episode two, you and Jo Ellen get together with your kids and really open up about your marriage and motherhood. How much did you want to talk about your personal life before appearing on the show?
(Jared and I) don’t have much to hide. I think that’s what made it weird because we’re pretty open. I feel like I’ve opened up about everything I want to open up about, but there aren’t any ashes in the closet at all. So you guys are acting like I’m not being open because I’m not talking about skeletons. But the problem is, you won’t find anything there! The dirtiest thing about us is how we met, back in our “Bachelor” days. We haven’t done anything too dramatic since then.
We are at a really stable stage in our relationship. But since we have two small children with us all the time, is that sometimes a burden? Yes, it was, especially during filming. My son, who is now 20 months old, was crazy the first year of his life, but over the past two months he has really lightened up. But if being a mom seemed stressful to me during filming, it’s because I literally had a child that I couldn’t spend even 15 minutes with without having a mental breakdown. And now he is overjoyed.
What do you tease about the rest of the season?
Some girls you don’t seem to get along with at first may end up becoming friends, and vice versa. “The Bachelor” season is often said to be the most dramatic season ever, but none of it compares to the summer I spent.
Even on the season of “Bachelor in Paradise”?
I have never seen people communicate with each other the way I experienced this summer. I’ve sat in situations like this so many times I couldn’t believe my eyes, and I can only imagine myself representing the audience watching at home.
How do you communicate?
Seeing the women screaming at each other and pointing their fingers in each other’s faces…I couldn’t believe that some voices could reach this point in an argument. I don’t know if these arguments go any further than your average “housewife” argument, but you’ll roll your eyes when you see this. I’m like, “Oh my god. I can’t believe she said that.”
Do you think people knew you were on a reality show and expected you to show some of it?
I’m sure the Bachelor Nation people will be disappointed in me because I’m not really delivering the drama. I’ve always been dramatic about love…for example, the only time I get mad at a girl is if she chases my guy. I thought, “Sorry, am I that boring?” I’m a witness to all this drama, and it’s partly funny. Marriage seems to be really stable.
I have to talk about tears. Because tears have been your signature thing since your “Bachelor” days.
I’m not one to raise my voice. During a classic two-on-one drama moment in the Badlands, I didn’t raise my voice. At that moment, I remain strangely monotonous. That’s what I’m doing here. For example, if someone comes at me, I tear up and try to explain myself. It’s a lot…and when I talk about myself, I sometimes cry. When I talk about my family and things that are important to me, I tend to cry. It’ll be interesting to see how Bravo viewers react to me, because they’ll be like, “Why is there this girl on this show who doesn’t fight?”
As a big voice in Bachelor Nation, what do you think about Taylor Frankie Paul’s suspended season of ‘The Bachelorette’?
I recorded an hour-long podcast about this today, and it’s very nuanced. Overall, it’s a good thing they didn’t get the season going. It was a decision that should have been made much earlier and more carefully.
Based on the many interviews she had, we knew in great detail what happened in the video and what led to her arrest. You guys had her on a TV show for four seasons…really bad, bad video, and the kid in there is really bad…maybe she shouldn’t have been chosen to be on “The Bachelorette.” It wasn’t the right role for her, and it was probably something she wasn’t mentally and emotionally ready to take on for a number of reasons — the fact that she was so intertwined with one of the roles, Dakota. There’s so much I want to say.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
