Hannah Murray recalled falling into psychosis after joining a health cult in 2017.
“It’s easy to say, ‘Well, that won’t happen to me,’ but when you start saying things like that because you don’t know, we do ourselves a disservice,” the “Game of Thrones” actress told the Guardian in an interview published Saturday.
Murray, who describes the harrowing experience in his upcoming memoir, The Make-Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness, said: “I never thought I would go through what is described in the book.”
“I would have thought that I couldn’t do that, that I was safe. I was well-educated from a middle-class family. Everything was going to be fine,” the “Skins” alum told the outlet.
“I thought, ‘I’m smart. I’m going to make good choices.'” Well, I made a terrible choice. But instead of thinking, “Oh, they must be idiots,” it’s important to understand why people do the things they do. Or, “How stupid are you? ‘ she added.
Murray, 36, said he was first introduced to the alleged cult by an “energy healer” he met through a personal trainer while filming “Detroit.”
“My own experience felt very erotic, even though nothing obviously physical was happening. There was just a lot of energy in the room, which I think often happens in these hierarchical spiritual organizations,” she recalled.
“What was interesting to me was that it was a predominantly female space, like teachers and healers, and this guy comes in and he’s incredibly confident and charming,” Murray added, citing the cult or leader.
“The first thing he says is a joke about sex. It goes from this very floating, very calm, hopeful energy to suddenly being like, ‘Hey, I’m here,’ or, ‘Let’s have sex.'” I think he did that on purpose. ”
Murray said he spent thousands of dollars trying to gain “wisdom and specialness,” but instead had a psychotic episode and was admitted to a psychiatric ward. She was then diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Currently, the “Charlie Says” star is staying away from anything related to the wellness industry.
“Even the mundane things can feel very painful. I don’t meditate anymore, I don’t go to crystal shops, I don’t do yoga anymore, because you never know what’s going to happen that might feel a little too woozy for my personal threshold,” she told the Guardian.
“But now we realize how prevalent it is. How often people we don’t know will suggest it to us as a treatment. We’ll say, ‘I’m really having trouble sleeping,’ and they’ll say, ‘Have you tried meditation?'” It’s ubiquitous and seen as an inherently positive solution, Murray said.
“There are benign and positive versions. But for someone looking for something, a magic wand or silver bullet, to cure me completely, the promise felt seductive and addictive.”
Murray, best known for her roles as Cathy Ainsworth on Skins and Gilly on Game of Thrones, has retired from acting.
“The Make Believe: A Memoir of Magic and Madness” will be released on June 23rd.
