Cam Patterson played Professor Snape from “Harry Potter” on “Saturday Night Live”‘s “Weekend Update.”
Patterson’s casting as Snape is a reference to HBO’s upcoming Harry Potter series, in which the previously white character is played by black actor Papa Essiedu.
After being introduced to Colin Jost, Snape, played by Patterson, starts speaking in an overly formal manner, saying, “Good evening, Mr. Jost, no, we’re just playing around. We don’t talk like that, brother. That’s called code-switching. Codio switch-o!”
When Jost asks how his year at Hogwarts was, Snape replies, “It wasn’t great. There’s a new kid here. His name is Harry Potter, and he’s a racist as hell. Harry Potter, or the Proud Boy Who Lived, kept telling everyone all year long that the school’s only black teacher was secretly evil.”
“I think they’re just worried because they know someone is trying to steal the Philosopher’s Stone,” Jost said. “Somebody stole something and Snape is the black guy who’s the prime suspect? They don’t even look at the white guy in the turban. It’s so disgusting. There’s a wizard in the back of his head,” Snape said, referring to the way the villain Voldemort appears on the back of Professor Quirrell’s head at the end of the first Harry Potter story.
“I’m really disappointed that he jumped to that conclusion,” Jost said. Snape replied, “It’s okay. It’s the usual. When I showed up at Hogwarts, on my first day, they looked at me and said, ‘You’re the Professor of the Dark Arts.'” I never studied anything like that! I majored in African Muggle Studies. ”
“The whole wizarding world is racist,” Snape continued. “There’s another black guy, his name is Kingsley Shacklebolt. I think he got his name from the Wu-Tang name generator. They all wear these regal robes. They dressed him up like he was selling cocoa butter incense in a barbershop. ” Jost asks, “That’s a cool outfit, isn’t it?” Snape says, “Oh, we’re talking about a Haitian taxi driver. And why did they have ‘Fetters’ in his name? That’s funny, dude. Fetters? Fetters!”
Jost said, “Well, for the first time, I’m starting to think that maybe JK Rowling has a problem.”
Snape continued, “The whole wizarding world is a mess. We have magic, we have wands that can do anything, and the people of my world still have slaves.” He rejected Jost’s claim that they were actually called “house elves.” “Yes, some got house elves. You didn’t know they got field elves too. They didn’t put that in the books, did they?”
Patterson’s cameo ended with Snape’s final message to Harry: “Your mother was fat to death, and I miss you so much.”
See the sketch below.
