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Home » Keir Starmer breaks up with Donald Trump
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Keir Starmer breaks up with Donald Trump

adminBy adminMarch 22, 2026No Comments3 Mins Read
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“Saturday Night Live UK” kicked off its first episode, following the American tradition of political chill, with British Prime Minister Keir Starmer trying to break the news to US President Donald Trump that he does not want to join the Iran war.

Starmer, played by a cleverly disguised George Fouracres, sits nervously at his desk with a framed photo of President Trump behind him as a dial tone plays. “Oh my god! What if Donald screams at me? What am I supposed to say?” he says to his advisor, played by Hamed Animashoun. “Prime Minister, please be yourself! Everyone likes you.”

When Mr. Trump answered the phone with a blunt “hello,” Mr. Starmer quickly hung up and lamented, “Oh, this horrible, horrible, wonderful president. Why is he so difficult to talk to?”

Starmer speaks to advisers as if Trump is his toxic ex-lover. “I just want to make him happy. You don’t understand him as much as I do. I can change him!” he says.

The meeting is then interrupted by Starmer’s new Gen Z advisor (played by Jack Shepp), who he calls “Sturmzy”, a play on British rapper Stormzy. A Gen Z advisor says, “I’m an expert on dirty dramas, I’ve been in three triple dramas, and I’m currently gay, so I’m qualified for this job.”

Gen Z adviser advises Starmer to send Trump a voice note instead of breaking up with him over the phone. Starmer responded: “I’ll try anything, I’ll do anything, except stand firm.”

“Hello, Donald. I’m afraid I can’t go to war with you, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends,” Starmer says, looking worried. “America and Britain have a long and proud tradition of cooperation, and you can’t take that away. Remember the good times? Remember D-Day? Remember Live Aid? Remember Iraq? The first week and the rest of the week, nothing. Remember Helen Baxterdale in Friends? Remember Hugh Laurie in Friends? Remember the episode in Friends where they all came to London?”

“But most importantly, remember when Ross and Rachel were on a break? I think that’s probably what we need. Not forever, but until we get all this war out of the system. We want different things. I know how much you want to start World War III, and that’s great. You absolutely would, but we can’t be part of it. But we can use the naval base whenever we want.”

Mr Starmer’s adviser then congratulated him: “Well done, sir. You’ve done the bare minimum. That’s all people expect of you.”

Mr Starmer responded, breaking the fourth wall: “It means that while we may not agree with everything America does, we can still be civil and accept their wonderful and okay culture.”

The Four Acres, Animashaun, and Shep then gathered together to say the iconic words: “Live from London, it’s Saturday night!”



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